The flow of the river
Going with the flow
Over the course of the summer, I’ve been delving into foundational works in neuroscience, developmental psychology, spirituality, and more. I’ve also started reading the *Dune* series by Frank Herbert.
One of the images that has stuck with me from all my reading is an analogy used by Daniel Siegel, who likens the activity of the brain to a riverbank. On either side of the river are the right and left sides of the brain.
The right side of the brain is responsible for processing input from our bodies and external senses; this is where emotions reside. This part of the brain is active when we feel anger, joy, courage, and so on.
The left side of the river represents the left side of the brain. This is the part of our brains that regulates rational and executive thinking.
Too much activity on the right leads to chaos, while too much on the left results in rigidity.
A healthy brain is one where you flow in the middle, utilizing both parts of the brain.
The river itself symbolizes the flow of experience, and to cultivate a healthy brain, your goal is to flow with the stream of the river of experience.
You can develop this ability with your mind.
Mind and brain are not the same. The brain is the physical organ that sits within your skull. The mind, however, has no precise definition. It cannot be reduced to any single part or even to the entirety of your brain. Researchers who have tried to pinpoint the location of the mind have not succeeded. The best current understanding suggests that the mind is dependent on the brain but cannot be reduced to it.
You can initiate actions with your mind and even change the wiring of your brain through your mind.
Daniel Siegel has referred to this ability as "mindsight"—the ability to observe what’s going on inside you with your mind.
If there’s one skill you need to develop mindsight, it’s the ability to pause.
Let’s say you’re tired after a long workday, and you come home with an ingrained habit of reaching for the cookie in the cupboard. The stress in your body after a long day, coupled with the exhaustion from focusing and being around other people, leaves you craving something. After a long day, the cookies seem to be calling to you.
What if you paused—not because you’re not going to have the cookie, but because you become curious about what’s happening inside you?
You pause and notice the overwhelming sensations in your body. Your rational brain is closed off, at the mercy of your right-brain impulsivity. When you pause and sink into the urge to grab the cookie, you realize your brain is interpreting the stress in your body as exhaustion, and exhaustion nudges your body to seek calories.
The cookie—or whatever your food choice is—will satisfy that hunger, but the problem with the cookie is that it is calorie-dense and designed to make you eat more than you actually need.
Continue pausing and listen to the internal dialogue and sensations. What are you telling yourself? Can you hear the script running in your mind? The internal battle is ongoing, and your task is to bear witness and listen.
Does this situation remind you of something? What does it bring to mind?
Perhaps it evokes a feeling from childhood that made you uncomfortable, and every time that feeling arose, you reached for food. Perhaps a parent gave you food to help you mask the sensation, the feeling, the emotion.
Mindsight starts with pausing. You then choose to focus on the urge. So, focus is the next component of mindsight.
After focusing on the urge and exploring how you actually feel, find a comfortable place to sit—on a couch, outside on the porch, or in a space where you feel at ease.
Breathe deeply. Inhale through your nose, then exhale slowly through your mouth. Let the exhale be longer than the inhale.
As you breathe, notice how your body relaxes. You can now choose to focus on your relaxed body, the support of the couch, and the calming breath. Do this for, let’s say, five minutes.
What’s the lesson here?
The lesson is that by pausing and using your focus, you can change how you experience reality.
This is mindsight—the ability to pause and choose to focus on different aspects of your experience and, consequently, your reality.
Reality is broader than our focus. Our experience is more expansive than our focus. Yet if we pause, we can choose what to focus on without trying to push away anything that arises.
In this choice lies our freedom—the freedom to choose.
Choose not to eat that cookie because you know it’s not healthy for your brain or body. Choose to write that paper or complete that task despite your anxiety because you can step back and choose.
The greatest freedom is the freedom to stay open to experience, choose what to focus on, and live according to your values.
I recommend the following authors on substack that challenge my ideas and thoughts:
, .
Beautiful🌈🌈